a NiGHT of boredom
by Freida5
Summary: A little story about a bored nights. What will he do when he has no little children to worry about?


"Ho Hum… another day another dollar… wait I don't work. I can't use that expression. We don't even have money in this world." Nights hung upside down in the air, his hand on chin giving serious thought to his dilemma. "I can't make hay while the sun shines, I only come out at night. I don't stop to smell the roses because there are only pine trees here. I can't say too many cooks spoil the soup because there's only me and I don't need to eat." He flipped over alarmed "My god, all those corny old expressions are rendered useless here! What will happen to all those great old expressions if they're no longer applicable? Woe to the English language!"

Crickets chirped. The swish of the winds in the pines held no criticism for his soliloquy.

"I'm so bored!" screamed Nights "I don't want this to turn into a surrealist play! Where's the next batch of loser kids so I can mess with them?" the purple jester started flying towards the fountain courtyard "Some wussy boy that plays shuffleboard and a cute little girl that wants to be a professional river dancer or something like that. Then the Ideya gets stolen, Reala is a pain in the bum, I get to have some cool boss battles, and Nintendo gets enough cash to make another Mario game. That's how it works people, let's move up production!"

He stopped at the very edge of the forest, scoping out the entryway. No one was there. He gave a deep sigh and sat cross-legged in the air. By the rate things were going Nintendo might give him a sequel in maybe a few years. But until then he would have to take orders from lame fanfic writers who had nothing better to do then give him problem children and create creepy original characters for him to make out with. "Such is the lot of a well loved cult favorite" he said with another sigh.

He really didn't like fan fickers. He had checked out one fan site, and he didn't turn on the Pg 13 filter. _That_ was a mistake. He had felt dirty for weeks.

Well since nobody was coming he had to figure out something to do with his night. "I could try to uncover the mysteries of quantum foam again…" he said to himself "But my lab is probably still crawling with those interdimensional demons. Oh, I could bake a cake!" He jumped up, eager to go on a culinary spree. Then he sagged. "I don't eat. Darn it!"

"Or you could do some work for us." A harsh voice whispered right in his ear.

"Gah!" Nights flailed wildly for a second before zooming away and hiding behind the fountain. "Reala! How many times have I told you about the restraining order?"

Reala shrugged "We don't have a court system here Nights, no restraining orders."

"It's alright to dream I guess. What do you want?"

Reala lazily drifted forward, but nights drifted back, keeping the distance between them. "Well since you seemed so bored you might want to do a little work for Wizeman. It wouldn't be anything too strenuous. In fact, it would be quite amusing."

Suddenly Nights perked up "Oh!" he said closing his eyes and placing a hand against his forehead "Wait a minute!"

"Yes?" Reala said eagerly

"Idle hands are the devil's workshop!" Nights shouted triumphantly pumping a fist in the air. "Some sayings are still good! Olde English is saved! Huzza!"

Reala's grin soured "you are such an idiot" he snarled "I don't know why Wizeman doesn't uncreate you."

"Pff, he can't kill me, I'm immortal."

"What? No you're not!"

"Yes I am. If Wizeman kills me, I'll me sent to meet my maker, which is Wizeman himself. So if he does kill me, I'll instantly pop up in front of him saying 'this is heaven? Where's the free wet bar?'"

Reala slapped himself in the forehead "That's not the way it works stupid!"

"The logic is perfectly sound." Nights lay back in the air with a cocky grin "I defy you to disprove it."

"O.K." Reala said slowly flexing his clawed hand "How about I kill you, to prove you're not immortal?"

Nights shrugged "works for me."

Reala launched himself at Nights, who simply shifted to the side letting him crash into a huge pine tree instead "That trick never gets old!" he giggled before taking off into the forest.

"I'll kill you for that!" Reala howled and took off after him

"I thought you were already going to kill me." Nights's voice reverberated around the forest. It seemed to come from everywhere at once. "are you going to raise me and kill me again? I never figured you for a cleric type."

"SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! God, your stupidity is eating away at my brain!"

"Cool, I'm a telepathic zombie!"

"GAHH!" Reala brought out his claws and rushed a tree. He slashed at it, and a second later it fell to the ground neatly chopped in half. Nights gaped at him, suddenly not so well hidden.

"Lovely weather isn't it?" he said with a weak smile. He ducked as Reala took another swipe at him "Nice moves bro, where'd you learn to do that?"

He didn't even answer, just attacked again and again as Nights, with the grace of a dancer, dodged every one. "Hold still!" Reala grunted.

"No thanks. I don't have that much health insurance" Nights suddenly reached behind his back and made a pulling motion. He held his empty fists up, ready. Reala punched at him, and howled in pain as a deep cut appeared on his knuckles

"What in the world was that!" he cried

"Seriously, who punches a sword?" Nights said as he made the motions of twirling something. But his hands were still empty.

"You… you have an invisible sword?"

"Everyone knows I have the flute, yeah" he said "But nobody knows about the invisible sword, the invisible lions, the invisible ferrarri, the invisible pent house sweet in New York, the invisible- ah!" Reala swiped at him, which he blocked with the sword "You didn't let me finish!"

"You and your lame jokes! I've had enough of them!" he kicked Night's hands, and the invisible sword went flying

"Oh thanks, now how am I ever going to find it?" Nights said grumpily. He started to dodge another attack, but Reala was getting wise. He suddenly feinted and got Nights across the face with his claws.

Nights flew back, his face bleeding heavily from the three parallel cuts "T-that hurt!" he said, shocked.

"I was not joking about killing you Nights. I have had enough of you and your disrespect." He licked the claws that had Night's blood on them "It's time to destroy you for good."

"You're mad. This is an E rated game, I shouldn't even be bleeding!" Nights took a few steps back, then turned and flew for it.

"No you don't! IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" Reala's hand glowed white as energy flowed into it. He zoomed after his brother and tore across his back with his claws. Nights screamed and fell to the ground with a crash.

Reala slowly descended, savoring the idea of finishing of the pest. He found Nights in a pool of blood, staring up at his approaching brother.

"Seriously, Inuyasha?" he coughed feebly for a moment "you are such a weenie."

"It worked, didn't it?" Reala softly landed. He loomed over him for a moment before saying "Any last requests?"

"That you don't kill me?"

"I thought you were immortal."

"So did I."

Reala knelt down beside his only brother, and Nights breathed his last.

--

Wizeman strode through the control room "Keep to your stations, I will return shortly." He barked at the various nightmares sitting before flashing computer screens.

"Gotta go gotta go!" he whispered to himself urgently as he tried his best to rush yet look cool and unruffled. He shouldn't have had that raisin bran this morning!

He finally swept into his private room, grabbed a sports illustrated off the rack, and settled in the bathroom. "man, that was too close." He sighed.

Suddenly there was a puff of smoke. "Whoah!" Nights fell onto the tiled floor coughing.

"What the-" Wizeman roared "Get out of here you perv!"

"Wizeman? What the heck am I doing… here…" Nights paused as the stench finally reached him "Oh my _GOD_" he backed up horrified "it smells like you butchered a caribou in here!"

"_GET OUT!_" Wizeman screamed, shooting a bolt of pure energy out of his hand. Nights was enveloped in it, and teleported away.

He grumpily opened his magazine "Geeze, can't an evil grand overlord get a little privacy?"

--

Reala floated back to nightmare headquarters, feeling the best he had in a long time. That smarmy purple jerk was gone for good. Now maybe he would get a contract for his own Platforming game. Heck, his friend shadow did it, why couldn't he?

He came to his room, ready for some R & R after a good night's work. He opened the door and took a few steps into the room before freezing, his mouth sagging open in shock.

Everything had been painted pink. His walls, his carpet, his bed, everything! His Rage Against the Machine posters had been replaced by Spice Girls. His anime figurines of Ichigo, Vegeta, and Big O were now several frilly little girls that he dared not contemplate. He rushed over to his closet. His outfits were now sequenced and glittery and smelled really strongly of strawberries and peaches.

His… his domain of torment and gloom… had been girlified!

He spotted something on his bed, the only thing not pink. He picked up the note and read it:

Since you like Inuyasha so much, I decided to design your room accordingly. See you around sister!

-Nights

Reala's mouth opened and closed silently for a few moments, the crushed the note in his fist. "I HATE YOU NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!" He screamed. Nights, who was listening from the hallway, flew back to the courtyard, laughing so hard he cried.


End file.
